In Maximum Influence, author Kurt W. Mortensen explains, “The Law of
Obligation, also known as pregiving or reciprocity, states that, when others do
something for us, we feel a strong need, or urge, to return the favor”
(Mortensen 82). I feel that the Law of Obligation represents situations when someone
does a good deed or acts in a positive manner towards you to make you feel
obligated to do the same in return. I use this law when I want to gain
something from another person for my own personal benefit. This law is a great
persuasive tool especially when I want to obligate my family or friends to do
something for me. When I’m at home I will put in an effort to do chores without
anyone telling me to do so in attempt to gain my mother’s attention. Although
I’m not proud to admit it, when I do this I will try to do the chores in a way
so that my mother sees what I am doing. This is effective the majority of the
time because she will usually cook one of my favorite meals that day, which was
my goal in the first place. In the future I want to grow and learn how to use
the Law of Obligation in a way that is less selfish and more selfless. That is,
I want to be able to do something good for one person so that they feel
obligated to help more people. Such an example of this would be persuading
someone to donate to a charity and helping people in need by first doing
something good for the person I am attempting to persuade.
An example of the Law of Obligation is when I was invited
to my friend’s birthday party in high school. He only invited a small group of
people because we were going to travel to Chicago and visit different locations
around the city. This made me feel like I mattered to my friend because it
seemed like it was going to be an expensive party; it was almost as though it
was a privilege to go. I didn’t want to feel like I was freeloading off of his
generosity so I felt obligated to go and buy him a gift. My friend was doing
something good for me, but although he didn’t seem to expect anything in
return, I felt personally responsible for returning the favor in some way. Even
though my friend didn’t have persuasive intentions in mind he was very
successful in persuading me to buy him a gift in return for his kind deed.
When I look back on my childhood I find that I used the
Law of Obligation unsuccessfully on a regular basis. The main reason for this
is because the people I tried to persuade knew that I expected a favor in
return for my “kind” deed (Mortensen 88). Back when I was in my early teens I
was a baseball player and I always wanted to improve my ability to perform on
the field. There was a new bat that had just come out one summer and I was
willing to do anything to get it, but I had no money. So I went to my dad, who
was watching a baseball game, and told him all about the bat I yearned for.
Since he was my dad he immediately knew what I was up to and didn’t comply with
my indirect request. In an attempt to persuade him to get me the bat I went
outside and mowed the entire lawn. As soon as I finished I returned to my dad
to inform him that I had just mowed the lawn, making sure he knew that nobody
told me to do so. He expressed his gratitude to me for mowing the lawn but nothing
more. Although I was disappointed I knew I had once again failed to obligate my
dad to buy me something in return for me doing him a favor. Looking back on
such experiences make me understand that I can’t be outright with my intentions
because in order for a person to feel obligated, they must perceive my gift or
act of kindness as unselfish and genuine (Mortensen 88).
My final example of the Law of Obligation is when my
mother persuades me to wash her car in the summertime. When her car is dirty
and not sparkly clean it bothers her, and since it is usually painfully hot
outside she comes looking for me. Although I don’t mind washing my mother’s car
in the summer I am less willing to do it when I am doing something of
importance. If I am doing something that I find to be important she will come
find me in the house and begin to compliment my tan or hair style, even though
both are usually the same everyday in the summer. Naturally I feel good about
myself and start to smile while thanking my mother for her warming comments.
But one of the keys to my heart is my mother’s home cooking, which she knows
far too well, so she offers to cook something scrumptious for dinner if I wash
her car. She doesn’t need to say anything else because the next thing I do is
go outside and start washing her car. My mother is obviously extremely
successful in obligating me to wash her car in the summer through her
persuasive techniques. Even though I know that she is trying to persuade me I
can’t help but feel good about myself after her compliments nor can I resist
something as good as her home cooking. Her kindness and amazing cooking put the
pressure on me to go outside in the sweltering heat and return the favor by
washing her car.
Since my last blog review I have made an attempt to test
my ability to use the Law of Connectivity. As stated previously, “The Law of
Connectivity states that the more someone feels connected to, liked by, or
attracted to you, the more persuasive you become” (Mortensen 28). I usually
don’t use this principle with persuasive intentions in mind, but I used it in
one of the classes I am enrolled in this semester. We were assigned a group
project which required strong teamwork and deep discussions. Many ideas were
exchanged in our discussions so it was the perfect opportunity to see how
persuasive I could be using this law. I praised my group member’s ideas,
encouraged them to contribute, brought a positive attitude to our meetings, and
complimented their hard work. By doing this they came to like and hopefully
respect me not only as a student but a person. I found that they were more than
willing to accept my ideas and build upon them because I had acted in a way so
that they perceived me in a positive manner. This allowed me to become more
persuasive during the entire process of completing our group project.
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